Thursday, October 13, 2011

New blogger app on phone

Like the blogger on the phone. Loving ios 5 updates. Love shinny and new. Its like steve jobs sent us a gift from heaven.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

A fustration

Hello World!  Again.

As always my life is crazy.  Too busy to remember if I brushed my teeth before I left the house and too tired at the end of the day to care.

Yes I am a Mom.  I have three little boys of wonder that break or outgrow everything.  Three little boys that make life wonderful and difficult to focus on at the same time.  They keep me busy, they make so much laundry, they eat so much food, and require so much time and energy.  That is the job of kids, afterall!

Yes I took on a new business.  Call me crazy, but when you can't find a job, you make one.  That is how this capitalist society works.  If you want something you find a way to get it.  I am glad I did.  I have an old friend that used to constantly tell me, "Just be like a duck, and let it all bead off your feathers."  Thanks, Nathan, I am now a Duck, an AFLAC duck. My new job is fun and full of adventure, most important it is never the same twice.

Yes I am a Wife.  I have a husband of nearly 9 years.  I am very much unhappy and have been for a good long while.  I need what every spouse needs, a little bit of conversation.  Every marriage needs communication, honest, free flowing, open and productive.  This has not been the case in my marriage for a long time.  If you think a lack of communication is not important than you have never lived your life without it.

What I have in my marriage today is a man that grunts like a caveman, the word "fine" and lots of silence in between those two sounds.  If you are a man and you are reading this learn this:  sexually satisfied with your wife, does not mean your marriage is in good shape.  It simply means your wife is avoiding another sore spot in her life.

What I also have in my marriage today is a great imbalance.  I have a man who not only doesn't talk with me, doesn't even look at me, he just sits and stares at his computer/iPhone/laptop, he doesn't speak positively with his boys because he simply screams about how their room is such a mess.  I have a man that doesn't even think their is a problem in our marriage.  I have all the duties of the house, the cooking, cleaning, laundry, the taxing of children, the homework duties with kids, the bath time routine, the paying the bills, the trips to the doctors offices, urgent care, the notifying the Super that the apartment needs maintance, the taking of the garbage out, the grocery shopping, the price comparisons, the couponing, the budgeting, the dreaming and planning, the religion and faith building of three little boys, the potty training, the sick kid duties, and the list could go on for days...  This is my imbalance.

This brought me to the question:  "What exactly do you (my husband) bring to this equation?"  A paycheck?  Who cares money is not love, compassion, commitment.  What Sex?  In case you forgot, I am a young woman capable of saying hey I am ready to any man on the street; and chances are very good that more than one would be available when I called.  So really what are you bringing?  What do you do that makes my life worth living with you?

Realistically, I am already doing 98% of the daily needs in the house, so you not living in the same house would not drastically change anything except who reads the bedtime story to the kids.  Would asking your wife how her day was and looking her in the eyes really be so difficult that you couldn't do it?  Or is it frightening that if you talk with her, you might actually carry some of the daily Needs load, which would lead to a less exhausted wife, who then might feel like being that dirty housewife when the kids are asleep...