Sunday, March 8, 2015

Now What?

Sit. Listen.

Today I was contact by the man who got married with me and my ex-husband.  My wedding day was a tandem wedding at a courthouse. It wasn't planned that way, his girlfriend was just a bit jealous that I was getting married.

 This man has never reached out to me.  We are not friends. Other than that "Facebook Friend".  I have hundreds of those.

 I wonder if he even knows why I got divorced?

Message:  Hello Pamela! I was wondering if you could help me out?  I'm trying to get some passport stuff taken care of, and part of the application process is that I provide my marriage certificate for me and XXXXXXX.  The problem is, I can't remember what day XXXXXXX and I got married, so I can't look up and request our certificate... But I did remember that we were at the courthouse on the same day (I hope this is not a touchy subject for you...).  So, what day did all of us go to the courthouse? (I'm really sorry if this is a sensitive topic...)
Would he believe me or is he like all the others that didn't believe me years ago? Leaving me abandoned.

If I told him that friend he had back then was not the man that I spent the last years in awkward silence with, would I understand?

Would he?  Should he be told?

Or is he Marine? Marines don't have mental health issues, they don't get PTSD.  Yeah, if you didn't know that you were never part of the Marine Family. 

If I sent him the photo from our wedding day and told the story of how I became a wife, would he see that marriage was a recipe for disaster?  The photo was taken by his own wife. It's moments after we said "I do".  I guess a picture is worth a thousand words.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

bitter hatred

Overwhelming anxiety.

Finally divorced.  Should be fucking glad.  Still stuck in stupid shit because of a home re-fi.  Still waiting on Child Support.  That damn asshole is still running my life.


Eminem has it right,  My life would be much better if you'd just drop dead...