No one wants to be around me because I am angry. No one wants to allow me some time to be angry. I just finished my divorce. I was married to a guy that never wanted to be with me. He seems to have married me because "it was the right thing to do". It never was, I wanted a partner, someone to lift me up, not put me down. I should be angry for not getting a divorce sooner.
Why can't I be angry?
It's not like he has lived up to his end of the divorce. He's not paying child support. I am angry about that! The 'system' that is supposed to ensure the children are financially cared for is broken. I am angry that I can't just give the contact information to the court to have them notify his employer. It fucking sucks! I know where he works. I know the address. But he wants to skip out on it and there is nothing I can do that will make the 'system' work.
NO, money to hire a lawyer to handle it for me.
NO one to help me hold the tears in when I have to tell the kids, no we can't get that. Sorry kids we can't afford desert after Scouts tonight. How is that fair or right when he is taking a vacation? No he's not taking the kids.
And I look at my shirt and cry because it's covered in lint. Trapped.
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