Saturday, April 4, 2015

Covered in lint

Well I am.  I have a nice new shirt.  I have 3 dogs and 3 cats.  I can't find a fucking lint roller because my 5-year-old thinks it's a toy.

No one wants to be around me because I am angry.  No one wants to allow me some time to be angry.  I just finished my divorce.  I was married to a guy that never wanted to be with me.  He seems to have married me because "it was the right thing to do".  It never was, I wanted a partner, someone to lift me up, not put me down.  I should be angry for not getting a divorce sooner.

Why can't I be angry?

It's not like he has lived up to his end of the divorce. He's not paying child support. I am angry about that!  The 'system' that is supposed to ensure the children are financially cared for is broken.  I am angry that I can't just give the contact information to the court to have them notify his employer.  It fucking sucks!  I know where he works.  I know the address. But he wants to skip out on it and there is nothing I can do that will make the 'system' work.

NO, money to hire a lawyer to handle it for me.

NO one to help me hold the tears in when I have to tell the kids, no we can't get that.  Sorry kids we can't afford desert after Scouts tonight.  How is that fair or right when he is taking a vacation?  No he's not taking the kids.

And I look at my shirt and cry because it's covered in lint. Trapped.

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