Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Happy 2019!

Happy 2019!

I've had it with 2018! It was painful in so many ways.  First, it started with the recovery from a heart attack, well 2, and unemployment as a result. Though I did have a 'side-hustle'. Recovery from a heart attack is about 30% physical and 70% mental. I've heard of people who had no choice but to return to full-time employment just days or weeks after a myocardial infarction or heart attack and I see that after that they don't "recover". They stay in survival mode and typically get sicker and sicker as the years go by. In large part, because they didn't have time to reflect on what went so wrong and how to fix the damage that had been done. Like I said its 70% mental.

My recovery has been difficult. I did not do well on a medication called atorvastatin. I thought my ADHD was getting worse or that I was just stressed out from the incident. But when I couldn't carry on a conversation or remember the sentence I had just read, I complained. I wasn't listened too. When I was I couldn't remember what the instructions were. Hahaha. It was terrible. Eventually, I had leg pain, this burning, tingling, needling sensation that would not stop. It got to the point where walking from the bed to the bathroom was an endurance event. When I reported that symptom the cardiologist immediately took me off the atorvastatin and wanted me to take another similar 'statin' medication. I refused. He's really not happy about that. Neither is my Family Doctor. But Life needs to be enjoyable not just "longer" as he claims. Though the scientific studies show it only extends the life of a heart attack survivor by 5 days. I'd like those days to be pain-free. 

In addition, I had my Mother living with me for all of 2018. I don't know if you realize this but mothers and daughters should not live together as adults. It is awful. It is confusing. It is not something I recommend to anyone that can avoid it. While I love my Mom, I never want to live with her in the room next door to me, at least not for as long as she is working her bizarre 2am - 11am+ schedule. She requires absolute silence! I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, and 4 cats. Silence isn't something we are capable of delivering. Some days she would get home shortly after 11am and I would be required to "be QUIET" so she could nap. That meant my 'side-hustle' could not be done because I "talk too loud" according to my mother. It also meant things like dishes couldn't be done because the clanging of the dishes was too loud as was the dishwasher. No yard work, not that I really wanted too, but it was out. All the organizing and hanging up of pictures or moving furniture so you could de-clutter the house was also out. I may have ADHD but I HATE clutter. Agh. It was everywhere. Maybe a touch OCD about the clutter. Everything must have a home in my home or I throw it out. Kids hate that. :)

I know what you're thinking...why just not do all the things before she returns home? Well, the woman never communicated what time she would be home. And when she was home she would stuff herself into her 'bedroom' lock the door and turn the TV on to CNN. She called that napping. But I was required to keep the place quiet until the kids went to sleep because shortly after her 'nap' was her 'bedtime'. Do you know how difficult it is to keep silent while cooking dinner?

Just to make things more inconvenient the Washer and Dryer were located in her room. But as all children know you can't go into your parents' room. So I couldn't wash clothing at will. I had to wait for her to do it, then listen to her complain about it. Now I had an answer, we could go explore the front closet in the living room where the previous owner claimed the original laundry room was. But I couldn't do it because if I got caught doing something 'difficult' like removing a false wall panel and testing the outlet and water supply there would be lots of words from her on how I needed to take it easy because I had had a heart attack and she didn't want me to die. Yea guilt trip. So she did the laundry, then complained about doing it, but complained more if I went into her room to do the laundry before she came home.

So now she is gone from the house. And I need to find a way to quickly cover the expense of the mortgage. SO her absence is both a blessing and a bit of a challenge. My side hustle with my partners is in shambles. That's a story for another day, maybe another or two I have. Anyway's I am making my own side hustle. I am going to restart my old business Binary Digital Media. I am working on the business plan so stay tuned for what that turns into. Maybe websites, maybe websites and social media, who knows. I've got until the weekend to figure that out and update my old website http://www.binarydigitalmedia.com. I have a potential website client, that was referred to me by a friend so I may have a few hundred dollars coming in this month. I have to work on the household budget too, see what I can do to make it all work in 2019.

Glad to leave all that crazy in 2018 and tidying the house after my mom left was a nice stress reliever.

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