Do you convince a new boss that they are that tiny push over the edge and that it can be changed? Don't know. I didn't succeed, so instead I will have to figure out how to change so that is not the thing that pushes me over the edge.
Not sure how one explains something that is all in your head to someone who doesn't have it all in their head.... Huh. So, new job looks like it is a perfect fit, and I still believe it really is the perfect job. It is the job I was intended to do, I know, God has been giving me clues for years, but now I am stuck in the mire of generalized anxiety disorder and an obvious dip back into the deep end of the depression pool. Its hard to explain what you feel when just breathing seems like an overwhelming challenge when the person you want to understand seem just so perfectly capable of handling things the world has dealt. It does not seem like my boss is the one covered in monkey pooh. Somehow his monkey is obedient or just has really bad aim.
So I work on my plan. If you don't have a focus problem creating a plan on the go, that deals with long term forecasting and goal setting is probably something you can handle between phone calls, dirty diapers, parent teacher conferences, and urgent family needs. But if you have that problem of controlling Your Elephant-read that in a book called Switch, I highly recommend people in charge of others read that, maybe you need to decided what you want the elephant to do before you get on. So that leads me to a really long drawn out business plan, with numbers, and statements about what strengths I have; at a time when I feel like I have none. Statements about what the future could look like with a bit of effort, you know the stuff that requires you to get off the couch, maybe answer the phone, check some emails and go out and meet some new people. Mostly it requires me to know what I want, know what that looks like and know how I will know I have achieved that. All a tall order, but I believe critical for me to actually do what my boss desires, a smiling productive agent that is not as stressed out as I am right now.
So, I guess this was my break. I should get back to the process of saying what I want, so I can figure out how to get it and declare when I have succeeded.
Not sure how one explains something that is all in your head to someone who doesn't have it all in their head.... Huh. So, new job looks like it is a perfect fit, and I still believe it really is the perfect job. It is the job I was intended to do, I know, God has been giving me clues for years, but now I am stuck in the mire of generalized anxiety disorder and an obvious dip back into the deep end of the depression pool. Its hard to explain what you feel when just breathing seems like an overwhelming challenge when the person you want to understand seem just so perfectly capable of handling things the world has dealt. It does not seem like my boss is the one covered in monkey pooh. Somehow his monkey is obedient or just has really bad aim.
So I work on my plan. If you don't have a focus problem creating a plan on the go, that deals with long term forecasting and goal setting is probably something you can handle between phone calls, dirty diapers, parent teacher conferences, and urgent family needs. But if you have that problem of controlling Your Elephant-read that in a book called Switch, I highly recommend people in charge of others read that, maybe you need to decided what you want the elephant to do before you get on. So that leads me to a really long drawn out business plan, with numbers, and statements about what strengths I have; at a time when I feel like I have none. Statements about what the future could look like with a bit of effort, you know the stuff that requires you to get off the couch, maybe answer the phone, check some emails and go out and meet some new people. Mostly it requires me to know what I want, know what that looks like and know how I will know I have achieved that. All a tall order, but I believe critical for me to actually do what my boss desires, a smiling productive agent that is not as stressed out as I am right now.
So, I guess this was my break. I should get back to the process of saying what I want, so I can figure out how to get it and declare when I have succeeded.
2 comments:
Pam, there is something I'd like to discuss with you. Please email me. I've registered as Greta. Have you got access to the email address I used?
I wish I could send you words of encouragement, except to say that you are much more exceptional than you believe yourself to be, and your children will love and esteem you as you are. That accounts for everything. x
Gave up.... Added contact me page. Ajnickmom@gmail.com
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