On day five he asked to see the kids. I ate an entire bag of circus peanuts and pulled all the weeds from my step fathers front lawn by hand while they were gone for the afternoon. The hardest part of the visit had been getting our five year old to go, as he insisted Dad had locked him out of the house.
My mother made chop suey and egg rolls. My stomach didn't know what to do with real food, the curry made my tummy warm and fussy.
He texted me that the kids were done eating, so I went to get them. That's ere he told me he didn't want a divorce and he doesn't like my blog. I than explained that me writing on my public journal is not any different than me going to a coffee house and talking to a gaggle of my cousins and friends. He didn't seem to understand that the thing he dislikes most about the blog happens everyone a spouse goes and tells their family about the other.
He also didn't seem to understand that the biggest problem he has right now is the fear he has created in me and our kids. It the main reason the trust has been broken and he reason I gave for he needing to leave the house and not live with me right now. The examples given had been said before and just as before he claimed I had never told him those things. It's incredibly frustrating to hear you never said that before. It incredibly frustrating to hear I will go to counseling, when the promise has been empty for so long.
It's really hard to deal with the excuses of why he hasn't gone. It's hard to understand why anyone would think it would be different, especially my mother. I believe she doesn't understand how things can look so good from the outside and be bad underneath.
On day six he text me requesting the sleeping bag from my step fathers shed. It set up a nearly impossible task with the time table of 40 minutes. He asked at 645 am. The big problem was the camping gear is buried. He should have known that, but I guess it just slipped his mind. After getting he kids up and out of bed, I emptied out the shed. It took me about 35 minutes to get out the camping gear, barely making it out in time for him and the kids to go to school.
He officially vacated the apartment so kids and I can stop sleeping on he floor. We returned home and I put back all their clothing. Unbelievably exhausted I went to sleep with the kids after reading the story
1 comment:
First I would start out by saying I am typing this from my phone and. It drafting it first in Word to check for sleeping so forgive my mistakes. Second I would like to point out that the first sentence is misleading since what I texted to her that I was doing homework. It if she wanted to bring the kids over so she can get some things done that it was ok. You see her sentence neglects to inform the reader that even with my faults and my frustrations with her that I was willing to help her out. The kids were sick and dealing with them and this situation can be a lot. But like I have stated before she will never let you readers know anything about me that isn't negative. And yes as crazy as it would sound I admitted to her that I still loved her and did not want a divorce. She said that she didn't know what she thought of that since she stated she is terrified of me hurting her and the kids. Again she neglects to mention that the day before the big fight was in my opinion a great day. I came home from a long day at school and work, ate dinner with my wife, put the older two to bed, and gave her space from the baby who was not feeling well. The baby fell asleep next to me while I massaged my wife's neck, while watching some tv. I took the baby to bed and then me and the wife went to the bedroom for some quality time. That was a typical day. Then the next day I expected to the same type of evening only to be acosted by her because I had not gotten her food. Regardless who's fault it was, mostly mine, her attitude and demeanor when confronting me of my error did not help in my anger and frustration in trying to explain and apologize for my mistake. She immediately made me feel more like crap for not getting her food she had to throw it in my face how hungry she was and how much she looked forward to eating her meal she did not receive. So yes my overreaction towards her in my defense of that she did not respond to my text to buy her meal was not great it also didn't help that her respose for not telling her meal order was that she was busy and could not text me back so it is naturally my fault for not persisting in the matter. Again I love my wife as I have mentioned to her with great frustration is that she is not someone who you can talk to when they are fixated in wanting to get into arguement. I keep replaying that night with a wife who asked where her food was at and I had responded that I did not get her anything since she had not responded to my text and she had simply stated that she would like would like me to get the kids ready for bed as she went to get her food since she wanted a break from the kids as she so often asks for it. So take this how however you feel and again defend your actions and put down mine.
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