Well I am starting to think my birthday is just a bad day. Last year my car had been broken into. That should be one of the earliest post on this blog. It sucked. I spent the day calling banks, notifying all kinds of people and dealing with the Police. This year also sucked, only much worse!
Instead of having a birthday party, which no one offered to throw for me. I spent the day caring for two sick kids. Yeah, I know it sucks to spend the day at home with a pukey kid, let alone two. Both kids started the day with fevers, and christening me in their vomit. I changed my clothes 4 times due to the festivities and bathed twice. I did 4 loads of bedding covered in bright red vomit. My fault, I gave my kids red Kool Aid. Still quite gross.
So that was bad. And any normal person would be like that sucks! Can I please have a do over?! But the day got much worse.
As I write this posting I am quite confused. I would say BEFUDDLED if the word didn't seem to be so light-hearted, but alas, I sit before you confused, flaberghasted, appalled and baffled, and befuddled.
Sick kids is bad. I started to feel a little sick myself this afternoon, also bad. But it was a Tuesday, and in my house that means Cub Scouts from 6:30-8:00pm at the local church. Today was slightly different than our usual, take the kids and supervise them as they learn Boy Things like tying knots, it was a parent meeting. So that sounds really boring. And I supposed if I was not an active Committee Member it would be. I took on the role of Lake Pleasant District Council Scout-O-Rama Chair and Pack 293 Scout-O-Rama Chair, so tonight I had a lot to talk about. Its big. Its fun. Its a thing worth doing. Unfortunately, I'd spent the day caring for sick kids and had forgotten all about the flyers I wanted to make, so in typical ADHD fashion I started making the flyer at 5:45pm when we need to be in the car by 6:10 and on our way. 5:45 is usually when I start getting kids and shoes paired together with anything else like jackets and dues.
So I made my flyers. I spoke, parents were not fans of the Assumptive Sales Plans or that volunteering for 4 hour shifts would be a bit different this year. We talked about the goal of getting 75% of the Scouts to participate in the fundraiser and what participation qualified as. So, I talked alot and so did some of the other parents that have been the Scout-O-Rama Chair in the past. Before this started I had texted my husband that I wanted Carolina's for dinner. No I never sent a message stating what dish I wanted. The meeting had started and I was not in a position to look down and read text, as I was a presenter.
I called when the meeting finally finished and asked if he had gotten food. He said yes, so I went home with 2 sick kids and a very excited Cub Scout who had just learned he would be going to Camp Digalus. I gathered my things and pushed the kids inside with the expectation of delicious mexican food for me. Only there was no food for me. I put my phone down on the dock station in my bedroom, as I do by a forced habit. (I've lost my phone many times!) I came out of the room and asked the question any other hungry birthday girl would ask, "Where's my food?" Was I smiling? No, I was confused and famished. Was there an air of attitude? Possibly, but not enough to trigger what happened....
There was an explosion of rage in my house. Not the first time this has happened, as I have told you in the past my husband has a way of simply exploding with little warning. Having just walked in the door and still feeling a tad feverish, my eyes got huge like an animal who sees the on comming headlights of a distant car. He screamed at me, I am sure the neighbors heard. I yelled back, "What did I do?!!!" He screamed more about how I didn't respond to his text message! And how was he supposed to know I didn't eat?!! I attempted to explain what I did at the Cub Scouts Parent Meeting and how I didn't know he sent me a text because I was leading a group. Then he ranted about how he can't respond to text messages and my phone calls at work! (Bewildered and hungry I reached for my purse and grabbed my keys) I said if you needed me to tell you, you should have called. I started walking outside as He screamed more, and stammered to his food wadded it up and throw uneatten, perfectly good food in to the garbage can as if he was celebrating a game winning touch down. Floored by the tempertantrum I continued walking out to go get myself my birthday dinner. He Screamed wildly about how he would go get it for me. I declined, and Said, "No, I will get my food. "
I made it to the car. I didn't run. But perhaps I should have. I started the car began closing the door, when he swung it back open. With the engine running, I buckled my seat belt and told him to leave so I could close the door. Some very unwitty banter happened. Then he reached across me and yanked the keys out of the ignition. He ran. Ran back into the house and locked the door!
Can you believe that? I was locked out of my own home, with my kids trapped inside. I banged on the door, shouted about my cell phone being inside. He briefly returned to the door to scold me like a child and slam the door again! Left out in the cold, crying. Unable to understand what had just happened, cold hungry. I pleaded to let me in, but nothing. Just the sound of my sick two year old crying.
I went to the car, the door still unlocked, looked for a coat. I stood there, baffled. Angry, I left. I began the 1 mile walk to my mothers house. I didn't have a phone so I could not call anyone for advice. As I approached the Circle K on the corner I considered asking them to call the Police. Upset, I continued walking towards my mothers house. I was one block from her house when she drove up.
2 hours later, I am still wondering should I call the cops? Should I go take the kids? What would you do? How do you explain this to 3 frightened kids?
Instead of having a birthday party, which no one offered to throw for me. I spent the day caring for two sick kids. Yeah, I know it sucks to spend the day at home with a pukey kid, let alone two. Both kids started the day with fevers, and christening me in their vomit. I changed my clothes 4 times due to the festivities and bathed twice. I did 4 loads of bedding covered in bright red vomit. My fault, I gave my kids red Kool Aid. Still quite gross.
So that was bad. And any normal person would be like that sucks! Can I please have a do over?! But the day got much worse.
As I write this posting I am quite confused. I would say BEFUDDLED if the word didn't seem to be so light-hearted, but alas, I sit before you confused, flaberghasted, appalled and baffled, and befuddled.
Sick kids is bad. I started to feel a little sick myself this afternoon, also bad. But it was a Tuesday, and in my house that means Cub Scouts from 6:30-8:00pm at the local church. Today was slightly different than our usual, take the kids and supervise them as they learn Boy Things like tying knots, it was a parent meeting. So that sounds really boring. And I supposed if I was not an active Committee Member it would be. I took on the role of Lake Pleasant District Council Scout-O-Rama Chair and Pack 293 Scout-O-Rama Chair, so tonight I had a lot to talk about. Its big. Its fun. Its a thing worth doing. Unfortunately, I'd spent the day caring for sick kids and had forgotten all about the flyers I wanted to make, so in typical ADHD fashion I started making the flyer at 5:45pm when we need to be in the car by 6:10 and on our way. 5:45 is usually when I start getting kids and shoes paired together with anything else like jackets and dues.
So I made my flyers. I spoke, parents were not fans of the Assumptive Sales Plans or that volunteering for 4 hour shifts would be a bit different this year. We talked about the goal of getting 75% of the Scouts to participate in the fundraiser and what participation qualified as. So, I talked alot and so did some of the other parents that have been the Scout-O-Rama Chair in the past. Before this started I had texted my husband that I wanted Carolina's for dinner. No I never sent a message stating what dish I wanted. The meeting had started and I was not in a position to look down and read text, as I was a presenter.
I called when the meeting finally finished and asked if he had gotten food. He said yes, so I went home with 2 sick kids and a very excited Cub Scout who had just learned he would be going to Camp Digalus. I gathered my things and pushed the kids inside with the expectation of delicious mexican food for me. Only there was no food for me. I put my phone down on the dock station in my bedroom, as I do by a forced habit. (I've lost my phone many times!) I came out of the room and asked the question any other hungry birthday girl would ask, "Where's my food?" Was I smiling? No, I was confused and famished. Was there an air of attitude? Possibly, but not enough to trigger what happened....
There was an explosion of rage in my house. Not the first time this has happened, as I have told you in the past my husband has a way of simply exploding with little warning. Having just walked in the door and still feeling a tad feverish, my eyes got huge like an animal who sees the on comming headlights of a distant car. He screamed at me, I am sure the neighbors heard. I yelled back, "What did I do?!!!" He screamed more about how I didn't respond to his text message! And how was he supposed to know I didn't eat?!! I attempted to explain what I did at the Cub Scouts Parent Meeting and how I didn't know he sent me a text because I was leading a group. Then he ranted about how he can't respond to text messages and my phone calls at work! (Bewildered and hungry I reached for my purse and grabbed my keys) I said if you needed me to tell you, you should have called. I started walking outside as He screamed more, and stammered to his food wadded it up and throw uneatten, perfectly good food in to the garbage can as if he was celebrating a game winning touch down. Floored by the tempertantrum I continued walking out to go get myself my birthday dinner. He Screamed wildly about how he would go get it for me. I declined, and Said, "No, I will get my food. "
I made it to the car. I didn't run. But perhaps I should have. I started the car began closing the door, when he swung it back open. With the engine running, I buckled my seat belt and told him to leave so I could close the door. Some very unwitty banter happened. Then he reached across me and yanked the keys out of the ignition. He ran. Ran back into the house and locked the door!
Can you believe that? I was locked out of my own home, with my kids trapped inside. I banged on the door, shouted about my cell phone being inside. He briefly returned to the door to scold me like a child and slam the door again! Left out in the cold, crying. Unable to understand what had just happened, cold hungry. I pleaded to let me in, but nothing. Just the sound of my sick two year old crying.
I went to the car, the door still unlocked, looked for a coat. I stood there, baffled. Angry, I left. I began the 1 mile walk to my mothers house. I didn't have a phone so I could not call anyone for advice. As I approached the Circle K on the corner I considered asking them to call the Police. Upset, I continued walking towards my mothers house. I was one block from her house when she drove up.
2 hours later, I am still wondering should I call the cops? Should I go take the kids? What would you do? How do you explain this to 3 frightened kids?
3 comments:
The way your husband treats you is inappropreate, but he doesn't see it the way you do. I treated my wife in similar ways, then went through counceling with my wife, and now know that these fights are caused by a build up of misscomunication. Both of you are probobly "walking on eggshells" because you both are feeling unheard, misunderstood, and unfulfilled. Lots of times in this stressful life, if we don't remember our spouse is another person (living a life just like yours). A professional would be able to talk to both of you, describe the communication models, explain how to talk about "feelings" and how to hear without "reacting". Even though his actions are inappropreate, his feelings are real (and vise versa). Should you call the cops? No, you should take your kids to your moms until he (actually, both of you) agrees to take action (find professional counciling). During those rages, men do not think rationally and are capable of horrable things... calling the cops will only complicate things between you two, think preventative instead of reactive (you both should find the tools to prevent the fight, hear each other, and prevent escalation). If you can't afford council... it sounds funny, but watch Dr. Phil together... or read one of his books. Marraiges need maintnance, just like cars... every successful marraige seeks wisdom. Good luck
That's horrible Pam. What a horrible way to have spent your birthday you poor thing! I am so sorry! Your husband shouldn't be treating you that way, no matter the argument. There is no excuse for it.
There was an explosion of rage in my house. I find this part very misleading because the person who exploded is the one that writes this post. Yes I had bought food and not get her anything. But I did text message her to find out what she wanted to eat. Notice in her post for her excuse for not responding. So I am at total fault for not getting her food and in no way her fault for no responding back in time. So back to the explosion, she had asked me where her food was at. I responded with saying that I did not get her anything because she never texted me back. Now the rest of this story could have gone in a way that she could have just told me what she wanted at that moment and I would have gone to get it. But instead I get her getting upset with me that she is hungry and wanted something to eat. The person who writes this post cannot just move on past an argument to prevent it from becoming worse. The person who writes this post has to continue on in explaining why she could not respond to my text and why it is not her fault for not telling me she wanted to eat. What makes me angry in this situation is that she would not let me apologize and just get het something to eat. It is like she thinks I did it on purpose because I was mad at her for something. It was her birthday. I just wanted to enjoy the day with her with the little time that would have had after putting the kids to bed. Instead I get upset woman who just won’t move past the whole not getting her food and just let me get her something to eat. The thought of her thinking I was trying to be mean on purpose set me off. I had to get out of there and away from her. Instead she decides that she is leaving, again not helping the situation from diffusing. So yes I took the keys for the car and locked her out of the apartment. I’m the crazy one right? Not her yelling at the top of her lungs to fucking give her back her keys. I am not trying to pin the whole fight on her. I am just trying to show that she could have handled the no food situation differently. Whenever we had an argument I use to wish I had hidden cameras and microphones in the house like in reality shows so that I could play the event back to her and let het see how she behaves in those situation. Again not pinning it all on her, I was mad yes, but she would see the reason why I was mad because she would not just let me get her food and end the situation. So in conclusion, if she had just sent me back a text of what she wanted to eat, none of this would had happen. But no I am portrayed as this mad tyrant who did not get his wife food on her birthday. I am the psycho who just wanted to know what she wanted to eat when she had arrived at home and was then bombarded by her anger for not getting her anything. Again those who read her posts should remember that she always portrays herself the victim. Go back to any other post it is always what I did and never her fault, ever. I find that to be unfair since I do not go around posting blogs and Facebook comments on how much of a crazy person she so to make myself to be the victim so I can get responses like “You poor baby”, “You should not be with him”, “I’m sorry that it happen on your b-day”.
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