Mommy ADHD: Parenting a Sick Child

Hello! I know I wanted to do this vlog part every week. I think Tuesday is a good day for me. It seems like I can dedicate myself to updating this blog and the vlog on Tuesdays.
Unfortunately, last week was, well, full of life. Whatever, right? So there was no blog or vlog or really anything that looked like work.

I had the water heater fail last Thursday. Yes owning your own home is wonderful! I highly recommend everyone try homeownership. Anyway, I had no money and now other-half to come to my rescue. I admit to borrowing money from both my Mom and Dad that I had no way to repay. It is a humbling experience to ask for a "loan" you have no way to pay back. I have no "income" at the moment and I have used most of my savings over the last year as I stayed home to recover from a heart attack. I am busting my butt in all directions trying to get everything in order to take on marketing clients on my own and end my relationship with the previous Digital Agency that I was a partner in. Borrowing $1,040.00 was yucky.

On Monday of last week my business with the previous partners officially dissolved and we started the resolution process of assigning accounts and notifying clients of the changes. Fun, but not a lot of action was taken by me or the business partners, so it is still sorta unresolved and just taking up space in my mind. 

Monday I attended the Goodyear Business Alliance hosted by Networking360. To be clear this is not a networking event, but a group of other business owners at different stages in their business who come to share and learn from each other. I love it. It has really kept me motivated to keep taking steps to build the business. I also had an impromptu meeting with a potential client in need of website development.  So it was a good day and things were looking good, even if I had no hot water and needed to shower at my mothers.  

Tuesday the plumber came. It took all day. Originally I had no issue with that. But about 4:30 pm the kid that had vomited and missed school became especially cranky and needy. I just didn't have the ability to wait for the plumber and make a trip to urgent care. So I called for reinforcements and his Dad showed up and took him to urgent care for me. They discovered he had the Flu!  

Luckily, the flu was caught early and he had Tamiflu to help reduce the duration of the flu. Better still he had been given the flu shot and so had my entire household. I can attest that no other member of the family has shared in his flu experience. Which is good because I am a heart attack survivor and I need to avoid getting the flu myself.

Anti-Immunization people probably don't want to hear more about my PRO-Immunization stance, but you should get your flu shots! They help prevent the spread of the flu. Tamiflu is only good if you get a flu diagnosis in the first 48 hours, and most people don't get the diagnosis until the 3rd or 4th day. Getting the flu shot reduces the chance of getting one of the strains in the flu vaccine by up to 70%, which I think is great! Get your shots! Protect others from the spread of preventable disease.

Having a sick kid led to me sitting on the couch for 4 days! I didn't do much of anything. Not this blog, vlog or working on my business. I don't know if that is normal behavior for other parents. Is it? Do most people just tend to the ill child and ignore the rest of the world and responsibilities? I am open to learning from your experiences.  Let me know. I am curious. Seriously! Am I alone? Is this an ADHD thing? Or just a parent thing? Do parents with partners do this too? Just Moms? Just Single parents? I really don't know. Nobody shares the ugly of life. 

Secrets, Secrets, secrets

I am not going to tell you my secrets.  Besides you already know most of the secrets anyway.  Its not hard, read the archive.

Back to interviewing for jobs.  I received a job offer today.  I think I accepted.  Not sure about it so I applied at the Sign A Rama on the way home.  Still have to return the call for the Credit Card Processor Company and talk to that lady at the Temp Agency that offered me a position that last 8 months but doesn't have an official start date.  So is it wrong to keep looking?  Even though I have two offers and I have accepted both offers, yet neither starts this week, is it wrong?

Right now it seems like all I really want to do is stuff for the Boy Scouts of America, Pack 293 in Peoria, but finding a job keeps getting in my way.  Just not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do.  I want to write and edit a draft of our Charter, which we don't have!  I want to edit and put together a New Parent Orientation, because I think it is important.  I want to officially declare that I want the Committee Chair Position to our Chartered Organization Representative.  But again, I need to find a job.  Maybe I won't find a job that allows me to be the Committee Chair, or worse one that wants me to not be part of the Cub Scouts.  (I have found several of those.)

What is wrong with the world when they don't want people who are invested in the community?  I don't know.  I will keep applying.  Found four or five more to send resumes to this evening after Cub Scouts.

I should be cooking dinner right now, but I am not, my eight year old is.  I am looking for work, while my toddler runs around with his pants off again!  He is outside trying to make me crazy!  My laundry still needs to be folded and my head hurts.

The house buying is on track. Yet I worry because I want to find a job before the short sale is approved so we can qualify for a VA home loan instead.  I am desperate for a job, but seem to be unable to find work that offers an hourly wage or salary.  I am busy like no one else I know.  I applied for Vocational Rehabilitation for myself and continue to work to get that going.  I applied for social security disability income for my five year old.  I figured it was time that he get the assistance he needed, like physical therapy for his motor skills, but have been told this process will take an agonizing 6-8 months.  Grrr!

Why is it when you are the most desperate for a job, you simply can't find one?  And why is it that you can get a job, but not when you need it?  Why has the world become so politically correct that you can't  tell an interviewer the truth about why you quit a job, or what you are searching for in a company?  Why do we need to keep secret the truth of what motivated an action or motivates us today?  I don't know.  Today, I answered truthfully about why I wanted a job, not just a little bit of the truth but the whole thing.  I was offered the job, yet I am still somehow unsatisfied, because I had to hold back why I quit some previous employers.

In case you are wondering those are not hypothetical questions.  I want to know why sharing the whole truth has become a bad thing to do.  I want to understand why the non-ADHD world is so different from the ADHD world of complete openness, acceptance and compassion. Other questions like Why are so many people following me on Digg?  I haven't posted anything there in months, yet I get new followers everyday.  Weird.

Oh, I miss you....

Oh I have missed this so much.  The number of times I wanted to sit down and tell you my rambling thoughts.  I seriously need to write.  I just got so distracted.  I admit lost in thought has happened more lately than it should...

Life is just so loud right now I have a hard time concentrating on any one topic for more than a few seconds.  Which leads to thousands of small snowballs and the giant avalanche you are about to read.

So somehow my husband moved back in.  No he is not a ninja that snuck in during the night!  It happened without discussion.  It just happened.  Angry?  Yes.  Confused?  Of Course!  Happy?  I don't know.  It just happened.  One night he stayed and the next he stayed.  And then he just stopped staying at my moms.  Weird.

Onward to the weirder still.  I still want to buy a house.  So we have been working on that for the last 20 days.  We stopped at an open house and found a realtor and a mortgage broker.  I like my realtor, she is easy to work with and does what she says she is going to do.  There was this house I wanted but by the time we were pre-qualified for a home loan the house was gone.  Sad.  It was a good house.  Then we found another house that was listed in our tiny price range and we liked it, but it also was gone before we had a chance.  So we tried again and settled on a house that was near where we wanted to be that was in our price range.  We bid and no one was interested.  Then suddenly there were multiple bids on that house.  Grrr!!!!!!   And then, that house I had been eying since mid December was suddenly available again!!!!   Hooray!  So far so good.  It is a short sale so it could be a long time before its all done.

I continue to seek out services from the Fresh Start Women's center.  I am beginning to think there simply is not enough time to do what I want to do, need to do and what I already started!   I enjoyed my journaling class from about 6 weeks ago.  It was fun and enlightening.  I just wish I had made some time to actually continue what I was doing at that time.  Its important! Writing is fun!  And, and, and, and, I think it helps me slow down the thoughts running through my head.  I also have started working with the social worker there.

My head hurts because of the shear number of things happening right now.  Like the Boy Scouts Scout O Rama Fundraiser is now in full swing.  Its crazy busy followed by mind numbing dullness.  I've never been one for sitting still.  Siting in front of the grocery story selling tickets with my little Scout is grueling.  I am glad I don't have a girl scout.  I don't think I could sell cookies day after day in the cold. The Scout-O-Rama Ticket sales are going well.  My son is selling his tickets and seems to be having fun.  So I will let him keep selling tickets.  I just wish I didn't have to rely on my family to babysit the younger two.

Started going to food banks.  Yes I said that.  Yes I even said I was buying a house! Of course it makes perfect sense.  Yes it does, let me explain.  Rent is 800 right now, plus water and utilities.  Its crazy but as I look around town, everything rentable is going higher, and my rent is likely to go up again in August when my lease expires.  So home ownership.  Well if you look carefully and find a smoking hot deal on a diamond in the rough you can pay around $450 a month plus the same utilities.  So yes, I think buying a house makes more sense than renting.  Not to mention the busting at the seems issues.

I also started participating in a Food Co-Op that provides fruits and veggies at incredible prices.  Fresh Fruits and veggies grown locally!  Many organically too!  Drawback:  you don't know what your getting.  Like I thought those bananas were taking a long, long time to turn green, but it turns out they were plantains!  Silly!  I should have know, but I have just been so tired.

Trying to find a job.  A few interviews, but I think I say too much of the wrong things when I talk.  Bummer, some of the jobs I have been excited about.  

Taboo

Taboo

I was left wondering what is so taboo about sharing your life after I stopped laughing at the silly bickering left in the comments.

Why is it not okay to share? I know some will say you need to keep your problems to yourself, it's not our business. I must disagree.

Here's why. Not sharing is how critical mass was reached in my marriage. Now I am not looking for a meddling mother in law. But when people keep their worries and joys to themselves they ultimately suffer and do does the community at large.

See there is someone out there that is going to read these blog post and see their own marriage. They might recognize that they need to seek help before they need assistance from the police or find themselves in divorce court. Even more important a friend or family member may realize that your family needs help ending a dysfunctional cycle and help intervene.

So why don't I share good things? Oh I do, it's just right now the amount of bad things are more plentiful.

Happy Birthday.... Should you call the cops?!!

Well I am starting to think my birthday is just a bad day.  Last year my car had been broken into.  That should be one of the earliest post on this blog.  It sucked.  I spent the day calling banks, notifying all kinds of people and dealing with the Police.  This year also sucked, only much worse!

Instead of having a birthday party, which no one offered to throw for me.  I spent the day caring for two sick kids.  Yeah, I know it sucks to spend the day at home with a pukey kid, let alone two.  Both kids started the day with fevers, and christening me in their vomit.  I changed my clothes 4 times due to the festivities and bathed twice.  I did 4 loads of bedding covered in bright red vomit.  My fault, I gave my kids red Kool Aid.  Still quite gross. 

So that was bad.  And any normal person would be like that sucks!  Can I please have a do over?!  But the day got much worse.

As I write this posting I am quite confused.  I would say BEFUDDLED if the word didn't seem to be so light-hearted, but alas, I sit before you confused, flaberghasted, appalled and baffled, and befuddled. 

Sick kids is bad.  I started to feel a little sick myself this afternoon, also bad.  But it was a Tuesday, and in my house that means Cub Scouts from 6:30-8:00pm at the local church.  Today was slightly different than our usual, take the kids and supervise them as they learn Boy Things like tying knots, it was a parent meeting.  So that sounds really boring.  And I supposed if I was not an active Committee Member it would be.  I took on the role of Lake Pleasant District Council Scout-O-Rama Chair and Pack 293 Scout-O-Rama Chair, so tonight I had a lot to talk about.  Its big. Its fun.  Its a thing worth doing.  Unfortunately, I'd spent the day caring for sick kids and had forgotten all about the flyers I wanted to make, so in typical ADHD fashion I started making the flyer at 5:45pm when we need to be in the car by 6:10 and on our way.  5:45 is usually when I start getting kids and shoes paired together with anything else like jackets and dues. 

So I made my flyers.  I spoke, parents were not fans of the Assumptive Sales Plans or that volunteering for 4 hour shifts would be a bit different this year.  We talked about the goal of getting 75% of the Scouts to participate in the fundraiser and what participation qualified as.  So, I talked alot and so did some of the other parents that have been the Scout-O-Rama Chair in the past.  Before this started I had texted my husband that I wanted Carolina's for dinner.  No I never sent a message stating what dish I wanted.  The meeting had started and I was not in a position to look down and read text, as I was a presenter. 

I called when the meeting finally finished and asked if he had gotten food.  He said yes, so I went home with 2 sick kids and a very excited Cub Scout who had just learned he would be going to Camp Digalus.  I gathered my things and pushed the kids inside with the expectation of delicious mexican food for me.  Only there was no food for me.  I put my phone down on the dock station in my bedroom, as I do by a forced habit.  (I've lost my phone many times!)  I came out of the room and asked the question any other hungry birthday girl would ask, "Where's my food?"  Was I smiling? No, I was confused and famished.  Was there an air of attitude?  Possibly, but not enough to trigger what happened....

There was an explosion of rage in my house.  Not the first time this has happened, as I have told you in the past my husband has a way of simply exploding with little warning.  Having just walked in the door and still feeling a tad feverish, my eyes got huge like an animal who sees the on comming headlights of a distant car.   He screamed at me, I am sure the neighbors heard.  I yelled back, "What did I do?!!!"  He screamed more about how I didn't respond to his text message!  And how was he supposed to know I didn't eat?!! I attempted to explain what I did at the Cub Scouts Parent Meeting and how I didn't know he sent me a text because I was leading a group.  Then he ranted about how he can't respond to text messages and my phone calls at work!  (Bewildered and hungry I reached for my purse and grabbed my keys)  I said if you needed me to tell you, you should have called.  I started walking outside as He screamed more, and stammered to his food wadded it up and throw uneatten, perfectly good food in to the garbage can as if he was celebrating a game winning touch down.  Floored by the tempertantrum I continued walking out to go get myself my birthday dinner.  He Screamed wildly about how he would go get it for me.  I declined, and Said, "No, I will get my food. "

I made it to the car.  I didn't run.  But perhaps I should have.  I started the car began closing the door, when he swung it back open.  With the engine running, I buckled my seat belt and told him to leave so I could close the door.  Some very unwitty banter happened.  Then he reached across me and yanked the keys out of the ignition.  He ran.  Ran back into the house and locked the door! 

Can you believe that?  I was locked out of my own home, with my kids trapped inside.  I banged on the door, shouted about my cell phone being inside.  He briefly returned to the door to scold me like a child and slam the door again!  Left out in the cold, crying.  Unable to understand what had just happened, cold hungry.  I pleaded to let me in, but nothing.  Just the sound of my sick two year old crying. 

I went to the car, the door still unlocked, looked for a coat.  I stood there, baffled.  Angry, I left.  I began the 1 mile walk to my mothers house.  I didn't have a phone so I could not call anyone for advice.  As I approached the Circle K on the corner I considered asking them to call the Police.  Upset, I continued walking towards my mothers house.  I was one block from her house when she drove up. 

2 hours later, I am still wondering should I call the cops?  Should I go take the kids? What would you do? How do you explain this to 3 frightened kids?

New Years Resolutions....

On the other things I've been thinking about since my last post back in December, or January.  I can't actually remember but I know I wanted to talk about New Years Resolutions. 

Lets start with the obvious

I want to be lighter on the scale and have a smaller pant size.  A long time ago, like the month before I became pregnant with my first kid, I was a size 8.  That is a really good size.  I admit I looked like a Barbie Doll, with my big Dolly Parton Size boobs!  But I worked at a Bikini Bar, so I guess you could say I was really into exercising.  And As for looking like Dolly Parton, that goes back to the first wish I ever made, back in the second grade.  Why an 8 year old wished for Boobs like Dolly Parton, I don't know, perhaps some crazy shrink has an answer, like I spent too much time looking at my Dad's Playboys. 

I want to be more vigilant when it comes to posting updates on my blog.  I like to write on this.  I like it.  It's a little like seeing your name in lights on the Theater Marque.  It's a bit of fun.  It's great for reliving stress.  It's also great for avoiding doing things like moping the floor or putting pants on my two year old.  I guess I am saying I would like to post each week, in my fantasy world I would post everyday, but really who would be reading that?

I also want my finances to make sense.  You know, the check book balances, and you don't overdraw your checking account on a regular basis.  I would also like to have cash in the savings account that is actually for savings and not to pay the overdraft fee.  So maybe I need a budget?  Then again that sounds oh so boring.

I want to earn money in my new career.  My new boss seems to be great.  She is organized or seems to be.  She is understanding and seems to understand my reluctance to jump right in and WIN, to quote Charley Sheen.  She also seems to understand basic math and that things like paying for child care are expensive if you are not generating an income to replace what you used. 

I want to exercise.  Before I got my crazy boss I was doing well.  Not fabulous.  I wasn't loosing 2 pounds a week or anything.  But I was feeling better.  Now, I don't know if it was all the crazy boss or a bit of the winter blues, but I stopped, and now I feel flabby.

I want to be organized.  You know like those people you admire, the ones that are never late and never need to apologize for the Linus like chaos that follows them.  I want to be prepared, I want to know what I need, what I need to do to get it, and who I need help from.  It's weird, I just want to feel like normal people do.  Normal people rarely suffer from deer in headlights syndrome. 

Adult Content:  Dude you know you want this crap.

I want to replace my Vib.  I miss my vib.  It made the kids antics less, frustrating, if only for a minute.  Lets face it I have a short attention span, and spending more than 10 minutes with the Vib or my husband leads to loss of interest.  Or maybe its just wandering interest.  I am certain my husband appreciates that in the middle of it, I am suddenly thinking about the grocery list, or that email, or the clothes that need to be mended.  Or maybe I am just in outer space, I have know idea, its sorta random, ranging from all the chores I didn't do, the kids, the car, the job, the education, my dry lips(both), the dogs, the weird shadow on the ceiling, how itchy the sheets feel, or how I need to change positions again. 

Anyway, why do people make Resolutions?  Aren't they usually forgotten by the end of January?  Is it because they don't have a plan or people to hold them accountable.  Are they even good?

So what are my steps?  Dude, you do know I have ADHD?  And maybe a bit OCD.  Yeah, I get upset when my hairspray is not in its proper place or someone moves the Paprika from the place I last put it.  Yeah, I have ideas.  No I don't have them written out. 

Oh, I also want to write out the house rules.  Ask my why.  Maybe I will write it later.  Just like the steps to finish the New Years Resolutions.....

A question. What would you do?

What to say... I am stressed again.  It's a never ending roller coaster of self-doubt and optimist hope about the future.

Right now I have a case of the I don't want to do anything.  I am content doing nothing but surfing the internet and reading books while I avoid making any decisions.  The list of I need to's, was getting shorter but has started to grow again.  The list of I want to's has begun to befuddle me.  My list of want to's reminds me of an episode of 'Hoarders' where the stuff is about to bury alive the occupants.   Grr...

A slight bit of frustration regarding my inability to make a decision presides over me.  It should be easy.  For heaven sakes just do a SWOT analysis, that is what my brain shouts when I am driving and need to be somewhere on-time.  WIth no time to stop and start a SWOT my brain quickly forgets something important that should be done and needs to be a priority.  Grr....

So I was at the grocery store and I used one of those self check out machines.  I needed cash so I could pay the electric bill.  I selected $40 and retrieved if from the machine to find $50.  I counted it three times, I double checked my receipt, then I asked the supervising cashier to count it.  Sure, enough there was $50.  I gave it to her and said that someone either forgot to pick up their $10.00 or the machine gave me extra money.  Should I have kept it?  And why weren't the kids their to see me doing the right thing? Oh, right it was like 9:30 at night and I was there for milk, bread, and beer.
So, I get where I am going and the questions I need answered aren't fully taken care of.  I get the first and the second question out and then I am suddenly overwhelmed by the need to take in the information and answer the questions it now poses.

On the new job front:  I have serious doubts about the place I am working at.  I have some doubts about my abilities which I think only come from the place I am at.  I still think I can be a great success in Sales, err, insurance sales.  I think I have the natural ability to look and see problems, unfortunately I don't know how to answer them all, and the follow up on questions that can't be answered today is a bit poor.  Boorish!  It bothers me that I forget to follow up with people, or fail to be loud and persistent enough to get all the answers right away.  Which suddenly reminds me about a section in a book I was reading called "is it You, Me or Adult A.D.D.?"that people with ADHD seem to have two different ways of prioritizing; Now and Not Now.  Unfortunately, I am beginning to see that pattern, things are either immediately important and I must hurry and do it right now; everything else falls away when this happens.  Things like the laundry don't get started or finished, books are suddenly left on the floor as I go to answer the phone, or read some Facebook message.  If it doesn't need to be done right now, I usually forget about it.  Like when I have known for weeks about a doctors appointment and keep repeating the date and time, the day finally comes and the time arrives and I am doing something else that needs to be done right now, like buy some ice cream sundaes.

Logic says that I shouldn't be doing that.  But somehow my brain has completely forgotten about that thing it was repeating for weeks at the time its needed.

Oh, back to the doubts about where I am a contracted Insurance agent.  So I took this job, mostly because it sounds really interesting, involves constant changing scenery, meeting new people, and a wild and extravagant lifestyle that seems achievable with it.  But my doubts arise from the fact that the office management, while veterans, they are not veterans with the company.  The result is many questions go unanswered or are superficially answered.  The office is also all married men with stay at home brides.  Which has worked to their great advantage.  Their wife is home taking care of paying the bills, waiting for the plumber, and carting the kids every which way they need, while they are able to focus 100% on the job every day they work.  This has lead to a severe deficiency in our ability to relate to each other when talking about efforts to grow our individual books of business.  Bummer, when you boss tells you that you need to make more dials, more appointments and be available for your new clients even on Cub Scout nights and Saturday when you were really busy washing the laundry, grocery shopping, taking the kids to the library, potty training the 2 year old and somehow getting the toilet cleaned.  Worse still the 2 Field Trainers that were charged with showing me how to be a successful insurance agent, suddenly quit.  Bad right?  Well, they then badder still the boss men were too busy doing things that did not focus on me, err, the new hirers, and we were basically left to try and figure it out on our own.  What did they do to mend this terrible situation?  They promoted a man who has been with the company for about 7 months to trainer and another who has just 4 weeks more time at the company.


So my bosses don't relate to being the chief parent/mom, they don't satisfy my questions with complete answers, they fail to take us on appointments to show us how this job is to be done, they promote people with no experience to trainers, and even worse they hired a new crop that also need the same limited resource I do, them.  I am sure they also plan on hiring another class to start next month too, which just makes it seem like a bad thing.

To be clear, as of this moment I have not quit.  Though I admit I have taken a 2 day sabbatical to evaluate this place.  But I did look at a competitor that seems to be in a better position to facilitate my learning experience and build an actual career as an Insurance Sales person.  I also began searching the job sites today to see what other options I might have.  It does kinda feel nice to have my biggest problems being that my ring is in danger of falling off, my clothes are too big and I can choose where I commit to work.  Oh, I am also thinking about taking a seasonal job doing taxes in addition to insurance sales.  So, What would you do?  Would you take the job with the other company that seems better able to answer your questions and train you for success or would you wait it out and see if someone suddenly becomes successful where you are so you can emulate them?

potty training and not throwing up

hi!  So I have been complaining about being busy and I still am.  I have been working for nearly 2 months in the Insurance Business for a company I am loosing faith in.

Since potty training is far more interesting than self doubt lets talk about that.  First my baby boy Danny finally turned 2 last Sunday!  Yea!  I just wish he was already potty trained.  Since he is not and he seems to know how to hold it,  I took away his diapers.  For those of you thinking,  eww gross!  Yeah, I get it, it can be gross to step into a warm or cold puddle of pee, but this is the fastest way for babies to get the message that they need to do something less gross.

I have stepped in a few puddles!  Thankfully not stepped into any steaming hot piles!  That is not to mean I did not pick up any steaming piles to promptly be flushed.  Yuck!

I spent the weekend with a baby going commando which ment there was not any leaving the house.  Bummer, I wanted to do something, but I guess you need to make some sorta plans with friends.  Making plans with friends is something I not in the habit of doing and need to start doing.

I am glad to announce I only needed to clean up one small puddle.  Soon I will need to clean the carpet because I can bet that as he goes commando with his babysitter and daddy.  I will be keeping the carpet steamer handy over the next few weeks.


623 849 4480 

Advice to give...

So a friend asked me about a place I enthusiastically left, because she has taken a new job with them.  I think I did a bad job.  I left and I am glad I did, don't get me wrong.  UOP can be a horrific place to work, but any place where you have endured a hostile work environment combined with Broiler Room like politics is bound to leave you with a bad taste.

UOP was also a good job.   I loved what I did.  I helped others find a way to make those New Years Resolutions and wishes become a reality.  I still am friends with many of my students today.  While I  was generally bad about sending out cards on Christmas, it wasn't their fault, I still loved them, I was just broken down by lots that happened in my life and at work.  And that happens to lots of good people, its what that good person does after, how well they find the old them, and how much they incorporate new growth.  I hope my friends, old co-workers, family and former students can all say I have grown into a better Pam, a more giving person, the kind of person I have always desired to be.

So what Advice to I have to give to people facing a new job, not just one at University of Phoenix?

1. Don't listen to all the negative things that happened in the past.  They did after all happen in the Past.  Perhaps that change that makes something so much more than what it was has happened.  One negative experience is not the whole story, so ask the satisfied people what they think.  
2. Do what is best.  Don't ever just do what you need to get your paycheck.  Don't meet the minimum standard of acceptable achievement with your employer, your friends, your family, your customers or yourself.  You are better than a minimum effort!  Do what you know is the best thing to do, in customer service that is not just selling your product, but being man enough to not sell it when appropriate, to even suggest a customer go somewhere else because your product or service is not the best for their situation and goals.
3. Do it.  What ever it is, do it.  If it is reading a book to help you understand your market, volunteering for a charity, or just helping your customer accomplish what they set out to do, even when it is not in your job responsibilities.  Yes, government regulations require certain things like licenses, but their is nothing that states you can't dial that number for your customer and transfer their call to the right qualified person. 
4. Be Thankful.  Gratitude is among the hardest things for me to give, and even harder for me to accept.  This comes from that old illogical society quid pro quo nonsense.   God doesn't work that way and neither do true friends.  It may take a few more weeks to beat that out of me, but it is quickly being replaced by that more logical thought process of I do it for me because it makes me feel good, so what if you got some great gift of time, money, or other tangible thing, I don't need you to owe me because of it.  I did whatever I did for you because it made me feel great!  And I will probably do it again.
5. You've got what you want.  I learned this from Larry Winget.  "People talk about what they want. We talk a lot about the things we want.
   
   I want more money.
   I want a better relationship with my spouse.
   I want good responsible kids.
   I want a promotion.
   I want to be healthy.
   I want to be smarter.
   I want to retire.
   I want, I want, I want…
   
   But do you know what people really want? They want what they’ve got. It’s a simple formula: You have what you want because your actions produced your results. Not your words and certainly not your wants."-People are Idiots and I can Prove It!    So I believe this.  If you don't want what you have, you will do something differently to get what you do want.  After all the definition of insanity is doing the something but expecting different results.  So if you don't got what you want, do something different.  
6. Failure is one way not to be successful it is not the end all be all.  Going back to Larry Winget You may need to try a lot of something difference before you get that change accomplished.  Successful people know that failure is just one way not to be successful and that is what you need to learn.  Weird, but true, you just try again, and again, and again.  Eventually you will be successful, it is a statistical fact, like in baseball, if you keep swinging eventually you will hit the ball, but you do need to keep trying.  I mean you are a failure if you just decided not to decided anything else, if you decide not to get up and try ever again, you have failed. 
7. Exercise and connect with people.  Okay you don't have to do both at the same time.  But exercise does things to your brain, and it makes your ass look great.  Connect with people, either go out with friends, go to church or try a new activity that frightens you like joining your local Toastmasters club.  Just know that connecting with people is a great way to make you feel good and it affects your brain in a good way.