as long as I can either pay for child care or work in the middle of the night, so I don't need to pay for child care.
This process of seeking work that meets just those two qualifications seems to be ridiculously tedious. I remember looking for work being easier. Maybe it was, or maybe I didn't need to work around my own kids and volunteer activities.
Sorry world, I want more, not more pay, just more. I believe that all workers should have the ability to cook their own dinner most nights of the week, visit a friend or family member, attend church and volunteer in their community. I believe these parts of life should be part of every employees balance. I don't think that the very activities that make us stronger as a society should be sacrificed.
Everyone complains about urban blight, crime and how all these kids are left to their own devices as their parents are off earning a living, yet no movement exist to actually change it. Its not more money that families need, its simply a better balance. I believe that even on a tiny income if a family could balance life with work without sacrificing one for the other society would be a more peaceful and orderly place, jails less crowded and few people would be hungry. We as a community would be better able to help our neighbors with their basic needs and thus need government less.
Showing posts with label Doing it the way it should be. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doing it the way it should be. Show all posts
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Another Day, another dollar...
No not earned, spent. Still no job. Turns out my Dad didn't remember he was going to help me watch the kids this morning so, I didn't have a sitter for my morning job interview.
Panic!
Pure panic! I didn't know what to do. I asked my neighbor Helen, but she had a doctors appointment. My normal last minute sitter didn't answer her phone. No one left to call, but my little bro who now works nights. I know he appreciated the call 2 hours after he had gone to bed for the day! I had no choice... Of course I could have left 3 kids completely unattended in a strange parking lot while I went to the interview....
Thanks Little Bro! It helped a lot even if I didn't get that job, yet. But I just might work on getting that job for next year. Sounds good, damn bankruptcy keeps me from accepting the job today!!!!!! Pay is was above average, and the interview went great until he said I had to be clear of a bankruptcy 3 years and one whole day. Damn! That is not happening until March 2nd, 2013. Assuming the Mayans were wrong.
Onward again, this time I went to the maid service, but lack of child care made me rely on my Mom and Step Dad, who were tired, so I didn't get to interview today. Must return tomorrow, but my car is in the shop for scheduled maintenance. GRRRRR!
Texted my husband for his truck, he got sassy. Not helpful as I was in the potential maid services office trying to schedule my follow up interview. Somehow, I will get to that follow up appointment, even if I need to rent a car or walk all the way there.
Hoping for a dollar earned tomorrow.
Panic!
Pure panic! I didn't know what to do. I asked my neighbor Helen, but she had a doctors appointment. My normal last minute sitter didn't answer her phone. No one left to call, but my little bro who now works nights. I know he appreciated the call 2 hours after he had gone to bed for the day! I had no choice... Of course I could have left 3 kids completely unattended in a strange parking lot while I went to the interview....
Thanks Little Bro! It helped a lot even if I didn't get that job, yet. But I just might work on getting that job for next year. Sounds good, damn bankruptcy keeps me from accepting the job today!!!!!! Pay is was above average, and the interview went great until he said I had to be clear of a bankruptcy 3 years and one whole day. Damn! That is not happening until March 2nd, 2013. Assuming the Mayans were wrong.
Onward again, this time I went to the maid service, but lack of child care made me rely on my Mom and Step Dad, who were tired, so I didn't get to interview today. Must return tomorrow, but my car is in the shop for scheduled maintenance. GRRRRR!
Texted my husband for his truck, he got sassy. Not helpful as I was in the potential maid services office trying to schedule my follow up interview. Somehow, I will get to that follow up appointment, even if I need to rent a car or walk all the way there.
Hoping for a dollar earned tomorrow.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Ahhhhhh!
hello bereft....
would love to contact you and chat a bit on the difficulties of love and all the really important life stuff.
actually been thinking about it awhile, but an old devil called generalized anxiety has been plaguing me of late.
I noticed that your not listed as a follower or was it registered user..? Anyway I can't contact you because of one of those reasons.
Everyone else;
Yeah I haven't been keeping this up very well lately. Yes, I started a new job. I really like the job. As I was telling bereft, this old devil I used to know has possessed me. Things are difficult enough in general, even with out ADHD, but that whole anxiety thing is quite paralyzing. Actually, looked at all the drugs underneath my sink and couldn't decide which one to try again, or if I should just take some benadryl, or call my family doc, or the clinic that provides the ADHD medication, which then lead me to wonder why I had an extra bottle of Adderall ER and Adderall under there. Have I been missing the doses that often? Did I somehow get my script filled twice? What the hell? Why was I freaking out 2 months ago because I was running out? Was it always there? I know I miss it a couple of times a month, but I take it with the birth control and the little blister pack shows only a few missed ones!?
So then their is trying to explain what an anxiety disorder is to new people, new people I work with, who instead of being helpful actually became so overwhelming that looking at emails, the ringing cell phone, that beeping text message, just made me hide; not want to hide, actually hide. How do you explain it when their is no logic? And then you go and screw other things up like a friendship, because your trying to express how envious you are of their situation, which they think just sucks, and make them all mad. Dude, don't think she liked me very much or even accepted that I tried to apologize, or understood I wasn't being mean, just trying to say how very lucky she really was, because if she had experienced what I had she wouldn't think I was being condescending, or whatever she thought. Gees, this sucks. How do you explain that to people? How do you apologize for something that you don't actually have control over? How do you explain that even if you could take a pill to make it all go away, you would need to wait until the next available appointment at the clinic--which is a very long, long, time from now. Sure, you can try and tell me just say your sorry, but reality is ADHD makes things difficult for co-workers and anxiety just makes you seem like a non-caring ass-hole because you can't answer the phone. Never mind, that you haven't slept or eaten anything of substance for weeks, and just now figured that out, or that you literally threw up when they called and you ignored the quacking ring that was just too cute a few weeks ago. Yes, I already know I just can't do anything right. I get it. My marriage sucks, I can't manage working, I can't manage housework, I can't afford to feed the family now that food stamps were taken away. That was something I wanted, I wanted to stand on my own two feed and be rid of the State Welfare system. Yeah, but now I am freaking out! How do you feed a family, when you don't actually have a steady paycheck, you owe possibly thousands to a babysitter, but are so stressed by just knowing you owe money that you can't add it up to find out how bad it really is?!! You say yeah just take a Valium and sleep on it. I so would if I had them or the courage to just take a little magic pill. Oh, and I read a book, one given to me by Parent Partners, who help people manage the social worker and education system so that things they need are taken care of, like an IEP for a kid, or speech therapy. The book was the Jenny McCarthy book, Louder than Words, which really made me feel even more guilty about what I missed along the way, things that you know would have or should have made me say hey this is what is wrong and why I think my kid needs some help before its too late! Yeah, I felt very guilty, angry, though I eagerly read the whole book in a few hours. I didn't feel joy, I picked up on all the bad things parents with children who aren't quite normal go through, like the avoiding friends-until they aren't friends anymore, not going to play groups, being terrified of regular preschool because you know kids are not politically correct, their blunt, they just come out and say it. Oh, I don't know if this helps anyone understand what a paralyzing thing anxiety can become in your life. And you don't know how bad it is until you are negatively impacting everyone around you.
would love to contact you and chat a bit on the difficulties of love and all the really important life stuff.
actually been thinking about it awhile, but an old devil called generalized anxiety has been plaguing me of late.
I noticed that your not listed as a follower or was it registered user..? Anyway I can't contact you because of one of those reasons.
Everyone else;
Yeah I haven't been keeping this up very well lately. Yes, I started a new job. I really like the job. As I was telling bereft, this old devil I used to know has possessed me. Things are difficult enough in general, even with out ADHD, but that whole anxiety thing is quite paralyzing. Actually, looked at all the drugs underneath my sink and couldn't decide which one to try again, or if I should just take some benadryl, or call my family doc, or the clinic that provides the ADHD medication, which then lead me to wonder why I had an extra bottle of Adderall ER and Adderall under there. Have I been missing the doses that often? Did I somehow get my script filled twice? What the hell? Why was I freaking out 2 months ago because I was running out? Was it always there? I know I miss it a couple of times a month, but I take it with the birth control and the little blister pack shows only a few missed ones!?
So then their is trying to explain what an anxiety disorder is to new people, new people I work with, who instead of being helpful actually became so overwhelming that looking at emails, the ringing cell phone, that beeping text message, just made me hide; not want to hide, actually hide. How do you explain it when their is no logic? And then you go and screw other things up like a friendship, because your trying to express how envious you are of their situation, which they think just sucks, and make them all mad. Dude, don't think she liked me very much or even accepted that I tried to apologize, or understood I wasn't being mean, just trying to say how very lucky she really was, because if she had experienced what I had she wouldn't think I was being condescending, or whatever she thought. Gees, this sucks. How do you explain that to people? How do you apologize for something that you don't actually have control over? How do you explain that even if you could take a pill to make it all go away, you would need to wait until the next available appointment at the clinic--which is a very long, long, time from now. Sure, you can try and tell me just say your sorry, but reality is ADHD makes things difficult for co-workers and anxiety just makes you seem like a non-caring ass-hole because you can't answer the phone. Never mind, that you haven't slept or eaten anything of substance for weeks, and just now figured that out, or that you literally threw up when they called and you ignored the quacking ring that was just too cute a few weeks ago. Yes, I already know I just can't do anything right. I get it. My marriage sucks, I can't manage working, I can't manage housework, I can't afford to feed the family now that food stamps were taken away. That was something I wanted, I wanted to stand on my own two feed and be rid of the State Welfare system. Yeah, but now I am freaking out! How do you feed a family, when you don't actually have a steady paycheck, you owe possibly thousands to a babysitter, but are so stressed by just knowing you owe money that you can't add it up to find out how bad it really is?!! You say yeah just take a Valium and sleep on it. I so would if I had them or the courage to just take a little magic pill. Oh, and I read a book, one given to me by Parent Partners, who help people manage the social worker and education system so that things they need are taken care of, like an IEP for a kid, or speech therapy. The book was the Jenny McCarthy book, Louder than Words, which really made me feel even more guilty about what I missed along the way, things that you know would have or should have made me say hey this is what is wrong and why I think my kid needs some help before its too late! Yeah, I felt very guilty, angry, though I eagerly read the whole book in a few hours. I didn't feel joy, I picked up on all the bad things parents with children who aren't quite normal go through, like the avoiding friends-until they aren't friends anymore, not going to play groups, being terrified of regular preschool because you know kids are not politically correct, their blunt, they just come out and say it. Oh, I don't know if this helps anyone understand what a paralyzing thing anxiety can become in your life. And you don't know how bad it is until you are negatively impacting everyone around you.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
On the move...as fast as molasses in Phoenix
Wow. It is so easy for me to be frustrated and overwhelmed right now! I am learning and growing, sometimes at what seems light speed, then you hit your proverbial platue, which right now seems more like trying to climb the Great Wall of China.
I studied like crazy and passed my AZ Life and Health Insurance License Exam. (Bragging right here: I did better than most of the adults in my initial orientation class that I attended on Friday.) :) It was very nice. However, all the adults in the orientation class, and I say adults because I was a kid, by at least 10 years, okay maybe 5, but many of them were at least 45 and male; but they have been working for at least 2 weeks on passing Online courses required to begin selling insurance with Bankers. Still glad I passed my test. A bit frightened that I seem to be so much younger than my new co-workers.
Orientation Class was literally 4 hours after I passed my exams, and the office was very enthusiastic and warm about meeting the first major milestone. I like that. An office were people are allowed to be friendly and open. How many places do you know where your new co-workers will congratulate you with a smile, hand shake and even a great big pat on the back? Most places any physical contact is just plain against company policy. So orientation class gave me a great big box of things to read, learn and prepare with for my first week of training, which begins on Monday. And it is a whopper of a week! The training program for the first week looks intense.
That is a bit overwhelming. But I have a family friend that will be helping us get onto our feet for the next few weeks. My friend, my Aunt Vivian will watch my kids for ridiculously low sums of money up front. Which is a big help, though I feel awful about not having an appropriate sum of cash to give her immediately. So, eventually I will give her what child care pays for 3 kids all day, It will just probably take me 2-3 months to finish paying here. Definitely disappointing.
Still overwhelming is the number of things that need to be done, but haven't been done since I started looking for full-time work that will actually pay our bills and get us off of welfare. I still need to clean the bathrooms, wash more laundry and well dust. We all keep sneezing, and that dogs are just plain filthy. I really should wash them before I clean the tub.
On to what is so dang frustrating. I was told during Orientation that I would be provided with a user name and password to access my online training materials and so I could spend some time playing "Catch Up" and finish the things I need to get done so I can actually go meet customers. I didn't get my email. Annoying, yes, possibly a set back of a day or three, another yes. Avoidable, unknown. I know that it was Friday and who doesn't want to leave on time on a Friday night, so maybe they typed my email address wrong and didn't notice, or maybe things that generate income needed to be done first and time just ran out.
So what did I do instead? Well, Friday I spent time with my husband, just sitting. Saturday, I got my FBI fingerprint card done, and then listened to an Audio Book called: God is a Salesman, by Mark Stevens. Funny title. I checked the book out of the library without knowing what it was about. Okay, I know the title says Sales, but that was not really what it was about. It was more about relationships, long-term relationships, Christianity, God, happiness and something University of Phoenix calls the Platinum Rule. The audio book is short. It is only 3.5 hours so I finished it in a day. I like the book, I think Mark Stevens has gotten it right. God can teach you how to sell. I mean God can teach you to treat people the way they ought to be, and you to act the way you should. The book was a bit about you ought to not settle for doing your best, but being exceptional and giving people the respect, time, investment and generosity they deserve. The main moral of this story was that people deserve no less than your pure acceptance and full and unbridled generosity. Similar to the lesson that is taught by Mr. Keith Ferrazzi in Never Eat Alone, is that if you give to people without accepting something of equal value in return, you will receive more given to you than you ever "paid out".
So based on my personal belief and what I have read, the cut throat sales approach that involves closing, so often declared the way by greedy corporations is just not what works, not for me and not for really successful and happy people. So when I worked for University of Phoenix, I always wanted to be open, honest, and help in every way imaginable to my students, and I did. I helped new students cope with anxiety, work on finding a way to balance work-family-education so they could be what they needed and wanted to those around them. No that was not accepted by my corporation, and I know my immediate supervisor was torn by doing what was "right" with what the company wanted. Troubling, made for a bad experience, no person, or boss should ever have their hands tied in way that favors immediate gains, while sacrificing the long-term relationship. Never understood that why University of Phoenix encouraged immediate gains at the cost of a longer-term business relationship-which actually is much more profitable.
Treat people they way they need to be. Guarantee people that their trust is not misguided, that you will always watch their back, the same way you would your kid brother. Guarantee that not only will you do your best, but you will go above and beyond what we have come to accept as acceptable customer service, and do it the way you know it should be.
I studied like crazy and passed my AZ Life and Health Insurance License Exam. (Bragging right here: I did better than most of the adults in my initial orientation class that I attended on Friday.) :) It was very nice. However, all the adults in the orientation class, and I say adults because I was a kid, by at least 10 years, okay maybe 5, but many of them were at least 45 and male; but they have been working for at least 2 weeks on passing Online courses required to begin selling insurance with Bankers. Still glad I passed my test. A bit frightened that I seem to be so much younger than my new co-workers.
Orientation Class was literally 4 hours after I passed my exams, and the office was very enthusiastic and warm about meeting the first major milestone. I like that. An office were people are allowed to be friendly and open. How many places do you know where your new co-workers will congratulate you with a smile, hand shake and even a great big pat on the back? Most places any physical contact is just plain against company policy. So orientation class gave me a great big box of things to read, learn and prepare with for my first week of training, which begins on Monday. And it is a whopper of a week! The training program for the first week looks intense.
That is a bit overwhelming. But I have a family friend that will be helping us get onto our feet for the next few weeks. My friend, my Aunt Vivian will watch my kids for ridiculously low sums of money up front. Which is a big help, though I feel awful about not having an appropriate sum of cash to give her immediately. So, eventually I will give her what child care pays for 3 kids all day, It will just probably take me 2-3 months to finish paying here. Definitely disappointing.
Still overwhelming is the number of things that need to be done, but haven't been done since I started looking for full-time work that will actually pay our bills and get us off of welfare. I still need to clean the bathrooms, wash more laundry and well dust. We all keep sneezing, and that dogs are just plain filthy. I really should wash them before I clean the tub.
On to what is so dang frustrating. I was told during Orientation that I would be provided with a user name and password to access my online training materials and so I could spend some time playing "Catch Up" and finish the things I need to get done so I can actually go meet customers. I didn't get my email. Annoying, yes, possibly a set back of a day or three, another yes. Avoidable, unknown. I know that it was Friday and who doesn't want to leave on time on a Friday night, so maybe they typed my email address wrong and didn't notice, or maybe things that generate income needed to be done first and time just ran out.
So what did I do instead? Well, Friday I spent time with my husband, just sitting. Saturday, I got my FBI fingerprint card done, and then listened to an Audio Book called: God is a Salesman, by Mark Stevens. Funny title. I checked the book out of the library without knowing what it was about. Okay, I know the title says Sales, but that was not really what it was about. It was more about relationships, long-term relationships, Christianity, God, happiness and something University of Phoenix calls the Platinum Rule. The audio book is short. It is only 3.5 hours so I finished it in a day. I like the book, I think Mark Stevens has gotten it right. God can teach you how to sell. I mean God can teach you to treat people the way they ought to be, and you to act the way you should. The book was a bit about you ought to not settle for doing your best, but being exceptional and giving people the respect, time, investment and generosity they deserve. The main moral of this story was that people deserve no less than your pure acceptance and full and unbridled generosity. Similar to the lesson that is taught by Mr. Keith Ferrazzi in Never Eat Alone, is that if you give to people without accepting something of equal value in return, you will receive more given to you than you ever "paid out".
So based on my personal belief and what I have read, the cut throat sales approach that involves closing, so often declared the way by greedy corporations is just not what works, not for me and not for really successful and happy people. So when I worked for University of Phoenix, I always wanted to be open, honest, and help in every way imaginable to my students, and I did. I helped new students cope with anxiety, work on finding a way to balance work-family-education so they could be what they needed and wanted to those around them. No that was not accepted by my corporation, and I know my immediate supervisor was torn by doing what was "right" with what the company wanted. Troubling, made for a bad experience, no person, or boss should ever have their hands tied in way that favors immediate gains, while sacrificing the long-term relationship. Never understood that why University of Phoenix encouraged immediate gains at the cost of a longer-term business relationship-which actually is much more profitable.
Treat people they way they need to be. Guarantee people that their trust is not misguided, that you will always watch their back, the same way you would your kid brother. Guarantee that not only will you do your best, but you will go above and beyond what we have come to accept as acceptable customer service, and do it the way you know it should be.